A question that you have probably already thought about before you embark on the madness of wedding preparations:
What does marriage mean to you?
What does it symbolize?
How does getting married change for you?
Marriage is the oldest and most widespread form of organization of conjugality.
Depending on the country and the time, it is contracted – or undone – in a ritual, legal or religious manner, framing the operating rules of the couple and provides a social and legal framework for family development.
Marriage also generally has patrimonial effects and creates varying bonds between the respective families of the spouses,
Which has also made it a way of establishing alliances between tribes or families, of sealing an alliance or peace, of claiming a position. of power or to obtain a capital (dowry).
Which future bride has not already heard this sentence (in whole or part)?
At the time, this sentence annoys me – I did not ring you! – and at the same time, it is worthy of interest.
What prompts us to get married?
What sense do we put behind all of this?
I am not going to do historiography of marriage in Nigeria, but it is true that marriage, in a little over a century, has changed a lot.
All men and women are now free to choose the person who will share their life, free to choose how they want to get married, free to choose whether or not they want to get married without society. doesn’t have to put a grain of salt into it.
We can live in a free union. One can even be single and multiply the conquests (or not). AND we can get married. It’s up to everyone and it’s up to everyone to know what is good for them.
It is also true that the number of divorces is important. However, a divorce or separation of a common-law couple does no less harm, does not create less suffering and difficulties. Yes, from a basely material point of view, we probably have fewer expenses when we separate than when we divorce.
But the moral, psychological price is nonetheless the same. Separations are painful in all couples, married or not.
So why do we get married?
We get married because we love each other, but also because we know that the person in front of us is the one you want to spend every day with the rest of your life,
Because routine is something that will come with it. and that the routine by its side is not something that scares you. Because you are aware that there will be ups and downs, accomplishments, big and small joys, just as there will be lows, defeats, small and big sorrows that must be overcome. Because you know that for that person you would give your all. Because you are ready to accept its qualities as well as its faults. Because when the going gets tough, you won’t give up!
And for you, what are the values of marriage in 2021?.
Marriage is also about fighting so that love sometimes remains! It is to defy time, this enemy present at every moment! It’s braving a routine that can become overwhelming. It is taking the lead. It is to question oneself alone and in pairs. It is knowing how to make concessions.
It is accepting the other in his periods of weakness and it is above all knowing how to reach out to him, overcome pride, anger, and remember that this person is the one with whom you have decided freely and in all awareness of sharing your life, no matter what!
The values of marriage are love, it is trust, it is overcoming difficult times, it is not pledging to love each other always, it is pledging to love each other every day, day after day, it is to be free to be oneself and to be accepted as such,
It is to be as many lovers, as friends and lovers, it is to build, sometimes to rework a little the walls that are collapsing, it means putting bandages on the wounds …
So to tell the truth, a marriage is a commitment. A marriage takes place for two! Everything about the wedding and the party’s just frills! A wedding is not a dress, it is not a party, it is not the menu or the place, it is not the people around…
All this is not essential! Marriage is your commitment to respect your values as a couple and in life! So before you get married, ask yourself the right questions! Don’t get married to walk into a church in a wedding dress. Don’t get married to a party with all of your friends. For that, organize your birthday!
Marriage is also a promise to yourself … So respect yourself, listen to yourself …
Your marriage is to be aware that sometimes it will be necessary to fight, that it will not always be easy, that it will be necessary to overcome certain trials and difficulties, sometimes together, and sometimes alone…
But you also know that with these promises, you commit yourself to do everything to keep precisely this love, this bond, and these values of marriage.
And now what would you say if I asked you
“Why are you getting married?”
“What does marriage mean to you?”
Kisses the Lovers.