Saturday, July 24, 2021

Tips To Regain Confidence After Infidelity

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Ebuka Izowe
Content Creator & Copywriter. Aspiring student of Delta State University

Once your partner has been unfaithful to you through the act of infidelity, the pain appears sharply and dramatically, representing a powerful attack on self-esteem, on the feeling of identity as an individual and as a couple. Distrust, control, insecurities, and permanent suspicion appear in the other, a fact that seriously damages the relationship.

In consultation, you usually ask, why has my partner done this to me? Does my partner no longer love me? Why has it happened? Have I done something wrong? Am I guilty of infidelity, or could I have it? Avoided? Will I be able to forgive?, Do I want to continue with the relationship? etc.

It is common for the closest environment, trying to help, give their opinion, judge, and even tell you what to do. But it is important that at first, you give yourself time so that the initial anger does not make you say or make the wrong decisions.

To regain confidence after you must have experienced an appalling side of your relationship, which is infidelity can make you a better individual because you must have had enough instinct and though process that will make you regain the lost confidence in your spouse.

Surely, you may keep wondering why your spouse did such an act towards you and you may continue to question your partner on the reason they cheated on you. Then you will keep asking yourself if you will be able to regain the confidence you once reposed in your partner. It may seem difficult but doable.

There are couples or partners who over the years have had bad past with each other. But with the trust, the infidelity became a burden in disguise that really blossom their relationships till date.

Then the folowing question may have poped up in your mind that: Can confidence be regained after infidelity?

Well, it is not an easy task, but some tips can help you to achieve it and make everything you have ever dreamed about in your relationship to come into fruition:


If you haven’t read this article on Infidelity: 4 pros and cons of forgiving infidelity, do read through it and have a better grasp of what infidelity can cause in your marriage or relationship.

• Management of initial shock and rage.

Channeling emotions properly and without losing roles can be difficult, it is inevitable that on many occasions crying and anger invade you and you explode. Writing is a good strategy so that the anger begins to diminish. Write everything that comes to mind: doubts, feelings, let the emotion flow without fear.

Make sure you note each and everything that makes you livid due to your partner’s infidelity as you wirite them down. Then, let it flow like the leaf going away from the bank of the river. Don’t take it to heart in order to recall the instance of what led to the infidelity.

• Put the thermometer on the relationship

It is a good time to analyze how the relationship was before the infidelity, and what you can do now to improve it. You can always both do something different to change what didn’t work before.

If your interest is to discuss it once again with your partner will make you forgive the act of the infidelity, then persuade your partner into discussing it with him or her. Don’t ake it seem you will to keep harping on the past without looking for ways to improve on your relationship.

You both can discuss on how your love journey began, and how it made your life interesting as you hope for the best in life. Discussion in a relationship makes the bond stronger, lovely and welcoming to all and sundry.

• Put jealousy on a diet. 

Stop feeding control: Always endeavour to look at your phone or your social networks. Try to avoid questioning your partner every time he or she walked through the door. For all this, the collaboration of the couple is essential, asking him and her to do those little things that will help you keep this “diet” at bay.

Avoid incessant questions that may trigger the unnecessary need of causing any form of disagreeent in your relationship.

• Make explicit what was possibly implicit.

Experience shows us that most couples take it for granted that the other person understands what they do about infidelity, and this is not always the case. You must negotiate and agree on how you want to carry the relationship, where are the limits and what you understand by infidelity.

Communicate your thoughts as regards making things right by not playing the victim’s card in order to stand out. You are to form a core strength of committing and fostering a better relationship ahead of the mess that has already happened and cannot be erased.

READ ALSO: Five love languages

• Recover or create intimate spaces as a couple. 

What things did you like to do that you no longer do? It is a good time to recover shared hobbies and playful moments as a couple: go to the theater, to dinner, to dance, etc. Find intimate spaces.

Be together and discuss on how you met, what attracted you to your partner, what they always do that makes you laugh among other things. Relive the moment and enjoy your time together. Cinemas is always a good ambience that makes couples hold their hands together or you can visit the beach and see the wave of how beautiful things are made, and how your love life can be interesting if you work towards making it right.

• Forgiveness. 

Many couples are stranded at this time because it is one of the most complicated. Real forgiveness cannot be accompanied by an eternal penance for the unfaithful person.

Forgiveness can be tasking when you don’t seem to let go of what happened in the past. Your spouse is your lover and do try to always forgive in order to make things right and easy for both of you.


In summary, it is very important to be able to regain confidence after infidelity to encourage communication ibetween you and your spouse. Do not leave things in the air, talk about fears, doubts, committment, love and trust.

Infidelity is one of the most complicated situations that a couple can live in, and many times this whole process is difficult to carry alone, professional help can help to reach real forgiveness by rebuilding the lost trust.


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