Saturday, July 24, 2021

7 Ways Men Destroy Their Marriage.

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Ebuka Izowe
Content Creator & Copywriter. Aspiring student of Delta State University

It is important to remember that the main goal of marriage is to be happy and peaceful. So while the list below may seem daunting, never forget it!.

If life seems stressful to you, then try to change your perception. Indeed, you are the only person who can transform your stress into tranquility. If you are feeling unhappy, look for the things that satisfy you in life. 

The only way to live in peace is to feel serene. Remember, the only person you can change is yourself! 

Below we have listed the ten mistakes that men make the most often. Read on to learn more about the behaviors of men that can destroy a marriage: 

 

1. Leave his wife alone.

One of the fastest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. Like spending long hours at work and then going out for a beer with your friends. And, when you get home, you don’t take care of her or your children. Instead, you wallow in front of a soccer game or in front of your computer to make online bets. 

And the weekend? You complain about the mess at home. And if you go shopping, it’s to disappear for several hours. Do you know that one of the most difficult things for a woman to go through is this feeling of isolation when her husband leaves her? Yes, your wife has friends and a job. She spends a lot of time running around with the kids. 

A woman can of course practice activities without her husband. But it is not the same thing. What she wants is to spend time with you, the man she loves. Being abandoned by her husband can cause her deep sorrow. For most women, the greatest fear comes down to isolation and deprivation. When a woman feels abandoned by her husband, she tends to attack him with hurtful and disrespectful remarks. Her ability to verbally hurt you is her most powerful weapon, and she uses it to try and get your attention. 

When a woman starts pestering you because you don’t spend enough time at home, (because you never date her, and never take care of the children), chances are she will feel abandoned. and isolated. If you stop spending time together, the emotional distance between you quickly sets in. 

2. Not being affectionate enough.

Your wife loves being close to you. If she thinks it’s different for you, your marriage is in danger. As you strive to maintain your independence, she wants to feel connected to you. Don’t just be affectionate and attentive with her on the days when you want or need her. Affection and closeness should be an end in itself and not a means to something else. 

Talking isn’t the only thing women like, although it’s important. Here are some simple ideas to keep your wife happy: kiss her often, hold her hand, and hang out with her alone. When her need for closeness is met, she will be more inclined to respect your need for independence. 

The important thing to remember is to help her feel connected. Try to talk to her about your day, your fears and hopes, and your dreams. Hold her hand when you are dating. Unexpectedly kiss her in the kitchen as she cooks dinner. Sit down next to her. Ask her how she’s doing, and for a few minutes, give her your undivided attention as she responds. These little touches will show her that you love her. Marriage is a long road that you have to know how to maintain.

 

3. Want to solve all the problems.

Even if she doesn’t always say it, your wife sees you as “her strength”. As the bearer of his burdens. When she comes to you for your help in alleviating her worries, it should be seen as a compliment. She knows you can help her, she knows you can handle it. But beware! Rather than trying to solve and sort out all of his problems, try to just listen to him. You can even ask her if she needs a solution to her problem or just a listening ear. 

You’ll see, it’ll be a relief for both of you when you realize that sometimes you don’t need to sort out all the issues that come up during your conversations. Just talking about it is more than enough. Also, if you listen to her, she will feel understood (even if she isn’t, which in the end is not that bad). 

 

4. Not knowing how to say “I’m sorry”.

All marriages have their ups and downs. Realize that refusing to apologize is a quick way to destroy your own. Although conflict is not a pleasant thing, know that your bond can grow out of it once the conflict is resolved. 

For your wife, making an apology means that she has taken a step out of the conflict, and is now looking for inner peace. Many husbands see an apology as a sign of weakness. They say to themselves, “If I apologize, she will no longer respect me.” However, it is exactly the opposite. If you humbly apologize and ask for her forgiveness, your wife will be more understanding. Your little act of contrition will calm her mind, and act as a healing balm on her heart and your marriage. Also, it shows that you are open, that you want to make an effort to make it work between you, and that your marriage is important enough to you to admit your mistakes. 

Finally, it shows that you can evolve and move on to make your marriage come out more solid. 

5. Forget that s*x is above all a shared pleasure.

When you confuse s*x and intimacy, it’s not very pleasant. When you are only focusing on your orgasm, it is not very pleasant. When you only show interest in your wife when you want her, it’s not very pleasant. 

When you devalue your intimate relationships with crass and dirty jokes, it’s not very pleasant. When you expect her to be instantly aroused, that’s not very pleasant either. Finally, when you neglect your wife’s sexual needs, it’s not very pleasant. When you’re married, s*x is supposed to be fun. Intimacy is designed to bring you closer, s*x should cement your relationship. 

To illustrate this point, imagine your wife as a slow cooker. You, you are a microwave. Microwave a meal, and you’ll be eating in 3 min. On the other hand, a cooking meal in the slow cooker takes much longer. You have to put the appropriate ingredients together, then cook, and wait. And only after six or eight hours can you enjoy yourself. Your wife needs so much attention and consideration. Start the morning with a kiss. Tell her she’s beautiful. 

A woman never tires of hearing this phrase from the man she loves. Help the children get ready for school. After work, ask her questions to find out how her day went. Take the time, that is the keyword! If you want to mix pleasure and s*x, consider the slow cooker, not the microwave! You can microwave, but only in the shower.

 

6. Lock-in bitterness and anger.

When you lock yourself in your despair, brooding, your wife begins to be afraid. Women like to talk about things. Men tend to withdraw. When you feel stressed about work, money, your relationship, you withdraw into yourself. This causes fear of being abandoned as well as rejection in your wife. When you refuse to talk to her, she will think that you don’t like her anymore. This fear, and her desire to resolve conflicts, will cause your wife to pester you with questions. 

She wants to talk about it with you, not to disparage or demean you but just to feel closer to you. She wants you to trust her. If you stay away from her to avoid discussing what’s bothering you, she knows something’s wrong, and she’ll start to assume that she’s the problem … But you have the power to avert the looming disaster. How? ‘Or’ What? By opening up to your wife. She loves You. You can trust him. Share what is on your heart with her, and she will open her heart to you too. 

 

7. Not knowing how to take responsibility.

Whether we are talking about addiction, adultery, or professional error, men often blame their wives. “I drink because she’s hysterical. I cheated on her because she didn’t know how to take care of me. I don’t get ahead with my work because she never encourages me.” Stop! It’s time to take responsibility for your behavior. Know how to be responsible for your actions. You choose to drink. You chose to cheat on her. You choose to work or not work enough to move up through the ranks. 

You are consciously doing all of these things, no one has forced you. Rather than blaming someone or something, assume! Reflect on the values ​​you stand for. Your life is completely in your control. Today you can choose to live differently. You can create exactly the life you want. 

Also, if your wife is truly the root of all your problems, then take control and have the courage to tell her the truth. She won’t be able to change if you don’t explain the problem to her. 

Marriage is a full-time job for both husband and wife. When both have the will to make this marriage a good experience, then there is a much greater chance of success. Work on yourself While this list may seem daunting, it’s important to remember that the main purpose of marriage is to be peaceful and happy. If life seems stressful to you, work to change your perception. 

Remember that only you have the power to perceive peace where there is stress. Do not be discouraged because it is enough to change this unique perception to have a peaceful life. If you are feeling unhappy, look for something in life that will be fulfilling for you and be happy. The easiest way to do this is to just be yourself. Never forget: the only person you can change is yourself!

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